Graduating college for me didn’t really feel like a big deal. It was something that was always expected of me, so when I did it just felt like I checked off one the baseline requirements for becoming an adult. Although I am a first generation grad everyone in my family always just expected that going to college and getting a degree was in my future, so when I did it they were happy for me but it always came with a “what’s next?”. That was such a disheartening question because for the first time in my life I had no clear path for what was next. I had no intention to go to grad school cause after going to two different universities and spending 5 and a half years in college I couldn’t imagine having to go right back to school or making another financial commitment after I finally graduated. What I expected was to get straight into starting a career but then the hell of a year that is 2020 hit. It became apparent to me very quick that the likely hood of me getting hired once I graduated in May were extremely low. I regularly deal with depression and seeing the lack of potential job prospects kicked it into overdrive. I completely lost the motivation to keep applying to jobs, the constant rejection along with questions from family became to much and I just checked out for about a month. I was just going through the motions of life doing the bare minimum to appear as “normal” as I could. In reality though I was mentally gone and it took a while for me to snap out of it. Graduating college was supposed to be this huge accomplish filled joyous moment but instead felt like the weight of the world had been suddenly place on my chest.
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